As it abundantly apparent by now, I will not being blogging every day of the Krotona invitational. And most of the video I took turned out to be unwatchable.
At one point during my Krotona group’s conversation, we got onto the subject of effort, risk and failure. I frequently see the risk of failure subverting effort. It’s a subtle process, and largely unconscious in most. Personally, I think one of the most useful practices we can take on as spiritual leaders, as humans, is becoming friendly with failure.
And with all due modesty, I can say that I am one who is on intimate terms with failure.
As has been pointed out to be time and time again, and always deservedly, I have a great, contagious enthusiasm for beginnings, but abyssmal follow through. I have a lot of great ideas, but few them ever live to the light of day. It certainly isn’t that I am unaware, it’s just that each time I get excited, it really feels like this time will be different. And I disappoint myself far more freqently than anyone else. For every eventually failed endeavor I have shared with others, there are two or three more that simply fade into the recesses of my mind with only the spark of promise.
Nonetheless, I do keep trying. Occassionally, others will join in and the collective will have more endurance that I would individually. My hope remains that this blog, despite my fits and starts, will stay just active enough that it will provide a platform for others, perhaps those for whom inspiration is in greater balance with steadiness.
My consolation is, oddly enough, found in sports. Recently, the football quarterback Brett Favre set the NFL record for career passing touchdowns. Basically, he became the most successful quarterback in football history. Shortly thereafter, he also set the record for career interceptions. In baseball, Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times. All sports stats reveal that those that succeed the most are the same who fail the most. The key is that they keep trying.
Brett Favre
I’ll probably wind up echoing the sentiments of others who have posted already–and I regret not saying anything sooner, but I didn’t know what to say. Silly as it sounds, I was too worried it wouldn’t be good enough…
At any rate, Chris, don’t get too down on yourself. You are a busy person, and while you may not setting this blog ablaze, you are accomplishing a lot. The work you do is not easy, not something most people could swing, but you do it well. You’ve accomplished a lot in your lifetime, too.
Dean, I only met you once, at India Palace, but I remember hearing about your being in a Ph D program, and comparing myself to you. I’m 26 and do not yet even have an associate’s degree. In the big scheme of things, why is this important? I don’t know, but it really seemed like a shortcoming to me at the time.
I like what Maureen said, too: Sometimes people come along who simply have big ideas, but before one can come to fruition, another one springs up. The problem with having vision of that kind is that you can already foresee the potential results–the grandest possibilities are the very thing that motivates one to begin the project at all. For some, half the excitement of undertaking the project is to see what may result. For others, the potential is already evident–and sometimes the reality doesn’t measure up to it. This in itself can be discouraging, and often such Initiators do feel personally responsible when the reality doesn’t live up the vision–but it’s not their fault.
You asked for help on this blog, and several people, myself included, signed up agreeing to contribute regularly. It is why we were designated as authors. But we, too, have found ourselves busy with other things, or for whatever other reason, unable to contribute. Believe me when I say this, Chris, more than thinking you have failed in some way, I have quietly chided myself for not following through. And I know from experience that when one has a vision that requires help from outside quarters in order to manifest, and that help never comes–it can be very discouraging.
What’s really great, though, is how you keep coming back. You haven’t given up. That is the definition of commitment, and as long as you haven’t made up your mind to abandon this project, you cannot call yourself a failure–not by a longshot. What you’re doing by persevering is what will eventually bring about the success you seek, even if it cannot be said that the site’s rise was meteoric.
And I swear I’ll contribute something, too–once I produce a piece of writing worth adding here.